You Better Work



Over the course of the semester, I slowly began to get accustomed to being back in the classroom, and in such an unstructured way. When each class only has, at the maximum, six students, you get to know the kids whether you want to or not, and as we neared mid-term exams I found myself thinking how I could come back in January a little stronger in terms of class structure. I also found myself considering staying on full-time next year, because intentional or not, I am starting to feel ownership in this little program my boss and I have started up. And I began to wonder what it would be like to have to tell some of my students – the freshman especially – that I wouldn’t be working with them next year, and it made me feel a little territorial about them, as if I didn’t want to turn them over to some new full-time teacher just yet.

In short, yep, here I am considering signing on for another year. Who knows what will happen between now and then, but just the fact that I’m considering it will have some of you who’ve listened to me gripe about work for the past two years on this blog shaking your heads. I know, I know…I suppose a part of me will always bitch as long as I’m working, but this is certainly a new experience for me that, unlike counseling, I’m not sure I’m ready to quit just yet. One year teaching in this program is hardly enough to really know how it works and what it can do, and am I ready for it to be someone else’s baby already? I’m not sure I am. Technically it’s my boss’s baby, but she is not a full-time employee and is rarely in the classroom with the kids, so for the students, teachers, and parents, I’m the face of it, and for the most part, everyone loves it (even though I feel like I didn’t do much first semester except for monitor kids and keep track of grades).

For example, the week of mid-terms I was called to jury duty and had to miss a day. My boss (who was the one in the room that day) told me that the students were very unhappy I wasn’t there and felt a little lost without me, and I admit it made me smile. I’ve never been good with forming bonds with students beyond the realm of behavior and expectations, and even with these students I’m still pretty guarded, but it’s true that even the small bonds I’ve managed to form are more than I’ve ever done before. So I’d like some more time to cultivate that. I’d also like more time to perfect the actual classroom structure, having been through a semester now and realizing some changes that need to be made.

Anyway, this has turned into too much of a ramble when all I intended to share was that I’m probably going to be doing this full-time next year again, and I’ll probably spend the entire first semester griping about it, and you’ll all be saying I told you so when that happens. But whatever – there’s still much work to be done, and I’m almost completely on board to keep doing it. We’ll see.

More Love for Zenni Optical

I wrote a longer review of Zenni Optical about a year or so ago, but I took it down and now I can’t find it. Since I recently bought two new pair of glasses from them, and I hadn’t taken any photos in a while, I went ahead and snapped some shots of them and will do a quick write-up. I also took some more fun photos that I’ll edit and share in a later post, so let’s move on.

For the second year in a row, I chose to buy my yearly pair of glasses in an optical shop, and for the second year in a row my $600 glasses have ended up thrown in a drawer while I wear my $130 glasses from Zenni instead. So, you know, lesson definitely learned there.

The reason I wanted to buy my glasses in a store this year (LensCrafters, with whom I’ve never had a problem) was because I cannot get the absolute thinnest lens available through online sources due to my need for a progressive lens. The lenses I got at LensCrafters were a 1.74-index lens, and the highest I can get at Zenni is the 1.67. When I wrote up a Zenni review last year, I took some comparison photos of my 1.74 lenses vs. the 1.67s, so I’ll share those again:

1.67 Zenni lens

1.74 Lenscrafters lens

That’s a pretty big difference in thickness, something to consider when your prescription is strong (I’m -7 in one eye, -5 in the other), and yet for two years in a row I’ve preferred my Zenni frames with the thicker lens to the thinner ones. This year, it was all about comfort. I was pretty convinced a thinner lens would be more comfortable; my previous Zennis felt fine, I just thought the lighter lens would feel even better. The glasses I got were cute enough, the service and prescription were fine (as I said, never had a trouble with LensCrafters)  and yes, the lens was thin – but after five months wearing them I still had not completely adjusted to them, and they always hurt my head, especially where the temple pieces hit the back of my ear.

Cute but OW

I don’t know if this is because these frames did not have spring hinges, which is something I’ve always insisted on but somehow forgot to check this time before I bought them, or if they were just never a good fit. But after giving it five months and getting numerous tension headaches, I decided I was going to have to buy a new pair, so back to Zenni I went. I made sure to get frames with spring hinges, and at Zenni I always go for the more ‘expensive’ frames (which at Zenni means $35), since mine are for everyday wear and have a thicker lens; once again the glasses I received did not disappoint. They needed a bit of adjusting with a blow-dryer to heat up the plastic and bend them into shape, but once I did that they were perfect from the get-go. And infinitely more comfortable than the $600 Tory Burch frames I bought this summer. Go figure.

Zenni frame #189715 – my favorite of the two. Oh yeah, I bought two pair. Don’t judge, they were cheap.

Once again the prescription in both pair was perfect, even with the added progressive no-line bifocal. In fact, I’ve always felt I see better with the 1.67 index lens than I do with the thinner 1.74 – things appear sharper and more crisp, but maybe I’m imagining that. And as you can tell when you compare both photos, it’s not as if my eyes look more magnified with the thicker lens, or really that in looking at them on my face you can tell any difference in lens thickness. So fine – my obsession with thinner lenses is finally put to rest.

Zenni frame #637721 - in spite of the fact that in this photo it looks like I’m trying to do so, I don’t believe these glasses have the power to hypnotize you

I sprung for the express shipping like I always do, and had my glasses within a week. Easy-peasy. And honestly, soooo much more comfortable than my store-bought glasses – have I mentioned that already? And I only forked over $254.65 total for both pair, as opposed to the $600 I spent for one pair at Lenscrafters over the summer. So once again, I’m a happy Zenni customer, and the backs of my ears are finally sore no longer. Everybody wins!

And yes, regular blog readers, I’m still playing around with the new Topaz plug-ins I bought over Thanksgiving break, so I think these shots are guilty of skin over-softening, but I’m still getting used to the best way to use the new tools. More interesting photos later, when I have time to process them. Another busy week coming up with the end of the semester looming, so I  may not be able to do any editing until next weekend, but we’ll see.

Working It Out

Well first, some fun news: last Tuesday, I replied to a Flickr request on Twitter for hair photos, and on Thursday I got this notification from them:


This was a nice surprise, because it meant the photo that they chose got loads of views – 2,283 so far – and I haven’t had a photo get that much traffic since I closed my old account. When I was still using the old one, Flickr Explore would feature my photos quite often, and when it did I’d get thousands of views on that photo and several new followers. But since I’ve moved, I’ve dropped off Explore’s radar, and traffic has been steady but without those little bursts of activity that, even though I know mean basically nothing, still always made me happy. So, it was nice to get some attention again. The photo they featured, by the way, was this one:


Other than that, not a lot photography-wise has gone on since my session last weekend. Work was a bit stressful since it was the week before a holiday, and everyone is on-edge and trying to squeeze in last-minute exams and projects which makes my job a bit more difficult. Since I am basically a case manager for approximately 30 kids with learning disabilities, I end up dealing with all of their exams and projects to some extent, and at times it gets overwhelming – especially since I cover all grades 9-12 and there can  be loads of different things going on between the different grade levels that I have to try and juggle.

I go back and forth about posting work observations and/or complaints here, because I swore off doing it awhile back and my tune never really changes anyway (poor me, I don’t really like my job, blah blah blah) but at times it helps me clear my head to share my thoughts about my work situation, so I’m breaking my no-work-posting vow for now. But I don’t want to get into too many details that would make this ramble on and on, so suffice it to say that while this new role at the school is definitely better than my role as counselor, and in no way do I regret making the move, this job is still far less than ideal for me. Ideally, I would have been able to get  an English teaching position, but none were available at the school, and I didn’t want to put out the effort finding one elsewhere would have required, so I took this one. Plus, I figured I’d try something new and see if I liked it better. But there’s a lot about this particular job that I don’t really like, and many ways in which I am ill-suited for the position. It’s not a structured teaching job, and my role is more one of case manager than teacher, so there is really a lot of open-ended time with the students where I am basically monitoring them and getting up in their business to be sure they are keeping up with their classwork. It’s never been my nature to be a nag, and a lot of the times that is what this role requires – sure, at times I’m helping them take tests or study for exams or write papers, but a huge chunk of my time is also spent just chasing kids down and making them do their homework or forcing them to study for classes when they’d rather just play video games. I’ve had to spend way more time than I’d like emailing parents and wagging my finger at kids who aren’t motivated to do their homework, or mediating student-teacher conflicts with kids in the program who have attitude problems – not much in life is less fun than having to force a defiant eleventh-grader to go apologize to a teacher for giving them attitude, yet this has become part of my job this year. It’s so not in my nature to be this much of a parent to the kids I teach, but I’m trying to do my best, and for the most part people are happy with the program and saying great things about it, which is a bit odd since I don’t particularly feel like I’m doing anything outstanding. The school has even held fundraisers for the school that have focused on the center; I was invited to one of them and had to endure a standing ovation for the “great work” I am doing, which made me feel like a heel since I don’t feel like I’m doing anything all that great at all. It’s weird.

We’ve already gotten approval to add a second full-time employee next year, which will help immensely, and I wish we could get me some help this year but that’s not going to happen. And the director of the program has promised me I can cut back on my hours next year if that’s what I want to do, but I still have to get through this year on my own. However, we’re almost at the halfway point with the semester ending on December 19th, and it’s not like I haven’t had to grin-and-bear-it at my job before, so I guess I’ll survive. But still, I wish I were just teaching English instead of spearheading a new program that everyone has so much invested in; it’s a lot of attention on me at a point in my life where I don’t want it, and it’s unnerving.

Anyway I am off for a week, so that’s something, then back for three more weeks before I get another nice long break. Not sure how much time I’ll have for picture-taking, as the week looks to be filled with catching up on doctor visits and taking cars to auto shops and lovely errands like that, but at least I don’t have to nag a bunch of high school seniors this week to get their planners filled out and their homework turned in!

Here’s hoping everyone else who celebrates it has a lovely Thanksgiving.

Prop Shop

I actually had a free day today, so I stopped by Pier 1 to get some things I could stick on my head, and otherwise use in ways for which they were not intended.

Annnnnd I found some – like this ornament, and the poinsettia leaves I pinned to my wig (you can see this shot with the pink eyes corrected here).

I had two separate looks for this shoot, and I’ll share the pics I’ve processed from the first look in this post. I didn’t edit too many from this section of the set, because it wasn’t my favorite look at first, but after looking at the ones I edited, I may go back and choose some more. I modeled my makeup after some ideas I got through Google searching, and the results were a little strange. I think I look more like a male with makeup on than a female, but whatever. For the second set I went back and put on some black shadow and liner and I looked a bit more normal. Not that looking abnormal is a bad thing:

My favorite from this set so far

As usual, I started off the shoot pretty bored and frustrated, and not feeling like I had anything new to cough up. But I started playing around with the ring light I had set up behind me to try and outline myself against the black background, and I started to get into it a little bit. It’s been a long time since I just played around with some props to see what I could come up with, and after a slow start things really got rolling once I pulled out the sparkly garland – but I’m saving those pics for next post.

A bit of yellowness under the eyes here that I couldn’t get rid of effectively. Oh well.

I messed around with the color a lot in post, because it was bright and all over the place, so no two shots looks the same in that regard – the poinsettias are actually a blueish-silver in reality, but they took on all sorts of tints as the processing proceeded. Also, while shopping around I picked up some Dermablend foundation to see if it would do a better job covering up my sun damage (as well as the cystic acne once again plaguing my chin – edited out of all the photos, of course), and it worked incredibly well. In fact, I went ahead and used the foundation all over for this shoot, and it is definitely effective if you need heavy, full-coverage.; my red and splotchy neck was completely covered, as well as the aforementioned blemish. The only downside was that I found it hard to wash off, even in the shower. I wouldn’t wear this stuff day-to-day, except for maybe on my neck where the damage is the worst. But it’s great for photos.

As I said, these are the only shots from the first look of the shoot I’ve had time to process, but I have a bunch more waiting in the wings for a later post – one I can write when I’m not so tired. It’s late and I need to hit the hay, but I wanted to share at least a little bit from today’s shoot. I dreaded it at first, but it ended up being fun and I got a ton of good shots to work with. More later.

Composite Practice

Well apparently I bored the crap out of you all with the airplane photos, because you’ve all disappeared. Jerks. Just kidding. But seriously, where is everyone? Not a lot of commenting or blog posting going on lately, it seems. Perhaps it’s the impending holidays keeping everyone busy?

Speaking of holidays, we are currently experiencing our first real cold snap of the season, and it’s lovely. You know what that means, don’t you – it’s Ugg time! I haven’t broken them out yet, because recently my friend Candace convinced me to buy this pair of shoes while we were shopping at the Galleria, even though I almost let them get by me.


When Candace insists I should buy something, I do it, because she isn’t one to force her opinions on me too often and I trust that when she does, she’s right. She always is – and I have been loving these little boots since I got them. She also convinced me to stop straightening my hair and wear it curly again, so yep, that means I’m back to living the permed life! Still don’t think I’m going to get a second one, though – partly because even though I’m going on month 5 since getting it done, my hair is still super-curly, and this perm will probably last me a year the way it’s going now. The top is getting a little flat, but I’ve taken to pulling it back with a little claw clip so get some lift up there and letting the rest do its thing.

Oh, and also speaking of boots…now, I am trying to spend less money on clothes lately, but when I come across something awesome I am still allowed to get it. And of course, I can share it with you, so here goes: there’s a pretty nifty little online store called Downeast Basics where I can, on occasion, find nice basic stuff for dirt-cheap. I’ve gotten some cute dresses and skirts from them for next to nothing, and for some reason I wandered over there recently to take a look around. And I found something they call a “shortie boot sock.” Now, I love the look of long socks peeking out the top of boots (usually worn over jeans or leggings) but I absolutely HATE wearing socks with my shoes. Well, enter the boot sock:


It’s a little band of sweater/sock-like material you pull up to stick out over the top of your boots, and presto! The look without the discomfort of bulky socks (well, I think socks are uncomfortable anyway). I bought two white and two black pair, and I don’t have them in yet, but I’m thinking they will do the trick. Also, the existence of such a product reassures me that I am not the only crazy person in the world with a hatred of socks. I’m actually fine with them to wear to bed, or around the house without shoes – but when worn with shoes I cannot stand them. Moving on.

boot socks

In other news, I played around a bit more with some of my meh shots from last Saturday, because why not. So, here’s one of them:


I’m thinking this probably really weird, and looks like I possibly just gave underwater birth to a jellyfish or something. But anyway, there it is.

Now this one is fun, because if you glance at it,  it actually looks OK, but the more you look the goofier it gets:


That’s a composite of three different shots, and towards the end of the editing process I got sloppy, so there’s a lot of  mistakes here and there, places where I didn’t paint in an effect neatly or where you can see the outline of one of the layers. Also, the more you look at it, the weirder my body becomes. The torso and legs are from a shot that was taken as I lay face-down with my legs up on a stool, but my head and the right arm are from a different pose. Look up close at the neckline of the gown and you can totally see where one is layered over the other (seriously, up close it’s REALLY BAD), and my head is actually a bit disproportionate to the rest of my body. Also, the line that was created when I leaned onto the stool makes it appear that I have two sets of knees – or that I have the lowest-hanging breasts in history – when it was actually just a little bend in the fabric from where I was leaning. I don’t think the hair was all that well-done, either, but I used Pixlr to overlay several different effects that concealed the bad outline I created when I layered my head onto the body.

Whatever though – I don’t mind that it’s a  goony picture. It was the first time I attempted to layer so many shots over each other in Photoshop and then paint out what I wanted to remove, and I was glad to figure out a way to do it even if the end result was bizarre and sloppy. These weren’t great shots to begin with, so I didn’t worry too much about making things perfect. I’m still basically trying to learn these new techniques whenever I can, so that someday i can create some really awesome levitation photos. Definitely not there yet, but I’m learning.

Now, if I play my cards right, I might actually have an entire day to myself this weekend, but I’m not sure I want to take more self-portraits. I know everyone loves them, but honestly they’re still boring me right now. We’ll see. Maybe I’ll have time to get inspired by then.

And speaking of inspiration – you all know how much I love drag queens, and a few weeks ago one of my favorites from RuPaul’s Drag Race, Willam (Willam is often NSFW so check her out at your own risk, just saying), was auctioning off a bunch of his clothes for charity on eBay (well, true to Willam form, she said she was giving most of the proceeds to charity and then the rest would go towards electrolysis, LOL). I couldn’t help myself – I had to buy something! I chose a pair of denim booty shorts that had been “customized” (ie, bedazzled to hell and back) by Willam herself, and yeah, they cost a pretty ridiculous amount of money, but whatever. It’s Willam! Then when I checked out through eBay I left her a little message, saying that a middle-aged schoolteacher would soon be wearing her bedazzled Daisy Dukes (not entirely true because I will never wear these things, except maybe in a photo or two with leggings underneath). I was hoping she’d email me back a little comment in response, but I heard nothing. Then it actually took a long time to get them in the mail, long enough that I forgot about them until receiving the package. There were the shorts, and sure enough, tucked into the back pocket was a little note from Willam herself – and it is fabulous:


And that, folks, totally made my week. I will most likely do as my friend Melissa suggested, and frame both the note and the shorts and hang them on my wall. Have I mentioned I love drag queens, and Willam in particular?

Oh and one more thing – the booty shorts photo was taken with my new iPhone 6 Plus – that’s right, I gave in to the mania and upgraded my phone to one of Apple’s new monsters. This thing is huge, and I freaking LOVE it. I don’t know why i got so excited at the idea of having a really big iPhone, but it totally works for me. Takes fantastic photos too. I think part of the reason I love it is because of how attached I am to my phone in general – I am always carrying it with me and using it for one thing or another, and the bigger size makes it physically feel as substantial as it is to me personally and/or psychologically. Or something. Anyway, big phone, yay. I should be in bed already, so I’ll cut things off for now. Happy Thursday everyone!




Booking It

It looks like my posts are not showing up in WordPress Reader lately, and I don’t know why, so who knows if anyone will even see this. Oh well.

A friend of mine has published a book of poetry using one of my photos! I love the way it looks and she is a wonderful poet, so if you can spare a few bucks please support her by buying a copy here.


Today is obviously Halloween, and one of the advantages of being at a private school is that we get to obnoxiously celebrate whatever holidays we want. Every year the school holds a costume contest for the teachers, so everyone dresses up elaborately. I am not going for anything elaborate, because I already get up way too early in the morning just to put on my regular face, (5:15 AM) and I’m not willing to get up any earlier for costume makeup application. Plus,  I have to teach all day in whatever I wear so I want to be comfortable – so I just went with a hippie and invested in a really nice long blonde wig and some round glasses. Funny thing is, only the wig and round glasses were actually purchased specifically for the costume – the rest is my own clothes! My Birkenstocks, wide-leg jeans, and poncho are all already in regular rotation, so basically I’m going to school dressed like myself on a Saturday, just with a wig and different frames.

Weird shot of my wig and glasses for Halloween

The air show is Saturday, so I’ll be getting up at an ungodly hour to drive out to my father’s house and carpool on over there with him. Taking the “real” camera along this time, so here’s hoping I get a ton of good pictures. The weather is supposed to be perfection with the cool front that’s moving in today, which will certainly help, so I hope to have loads to edit and process in the coming week. It’s been awhile since I’ve had anything new to work with, so wish me luck!

Break Time

I’m taking a week or so off from the internet, so forgive me if I’m not around to comment on your blog posts or respond here. No real reason for it, just a lot going on with work and family and I want to clear out the mental cobwebs that are cluttering up my brain. See you all soon!

Plane Plans

I am so excited, because we’ve had a nice little cool front this week that should last through the weekend, and as long as rain doesn’t roll in Saturday (which it might) my father and I are heading out to the observation area at IAH to do some plane spotting. Now, I know that in no way are you interested in watching 13+ minutes of plane footage from this location, but I liked this video the best of the ones I found on YouTube – I think it really gives you a sense of the observation park and how close the planes are when they fly overhead. So, I’m including the video anyway and you can watch of it what you want.

Lots could go wrong with this plan, but then again, that’s true of aviation in general; weather dictates what happens more than anything, so if the winds aren’t blowing in the right direction the runway where this observation spot is located might not get used all that much. It’s doubtful, since this runway is one of the busiest at the airport, but it’s happened to me before at Hobby, so we’ll see. Tons of Continental planes here since IAH is a home base, but during the afternoon hours loads of international flights and interesting planes landing and taking off, too. So here’s hoping it works out and we get to go.

I probably won’t post much more until after the trip, because I’m having a bad week with my arm (and Sandy the massage therapist had some surgery and can’t work until after October 20th) and I want it to be in some sort of shape to hold up my zoom lens and 7D. Saving my strength, and I’ll probably take my monopod or tripod along to help out, too. For added fun, here’s another video of footage from IAH, there are some really HUGE planes in this one, 777s and the like:

Oh ,and one other note: Stitch Fix not only contacted me to apologize for sending me a lame shipment, they also gave me my $20 stylist’s fee back for the month. AND, they sent me another shipment which I am due to get this Saturday. So I’ll be able to photograph that sometime too, but it might be awhile since this weekend is going be pretty busy as it is.


Home Dumbing

I can’t believe summer  break was two months ago now; it feels like yesterday to me. I swear I don’t know where vacation went or how it’s fall already, and we’re about to mail out our first progress reports at school and homecoming is around the corner. Speaking of homecoming, is this just a Texas thing?

Photo Sep 13, 3 03 38 PM
When mums attack

These will be swarming the scene at every grocery store in the state from now until the last Homecoming game is played. At school, some of the girls’ mums are so huge they have to attach a strap and wear them around their necks to keep them on.

Another thing that’s new to me, but not to the students: gone are the days when a guy just walked up to a girl and asked her to the game (or prom). Nowadays, it has to be a huge production worthy of ending up a viral video. Signs have to be made. Dance steps must be memorized. Flower petals and confetti must be flung. And the bigger the audience for all this tomfoolery, the better. What gives?

I blame YouTube. Seems nothing is worth doing anymore unless it garners the approval of a large crowd of anonymous people. Same with wedding proposals. Now the poor guy has to go all out and perform a choreographed lipsynch in front of a huge crowd or the gal feels ripped off. I hate to say it, but thank God I’m not a young-un in the midst of all of this. I am so practical and un-romantic, I would have run screaming from any marriage proposal that involved what, to me, would feel like both public pressure and public humiliation. I don’t even recall that Doug and I had a formal proposal. It was more like – hey, we’re a good fit, we should get married someday. Yep. We should probably buy an engagement ring to make that official. Yep. Shall we go to Zales and pick something out? OK. Poof! Engaged.

But that’s just me. And by the way, I never went to Homecoming in high school, not once. Never got asked and never cared, as I hated the thought of wearing a mum (which back in the 80’s was a lot smaller) and I hated football games too. Still do, but I’ll probably go to the one at the school out of a sense of duty anyway.

This whole post was an excuse to share that photo, which cracked me up when I saw it at the grocery store Saturday. You’re welcome.

Day 1 Down, Day 15 Done

I was so nervous for the first day of school, but then I always am. It went off without a hitch, though – the kids were pretty enthusiastic about the class overall, and we had many great conversations about the purpose of the course and how it could benefit them. I didn’t even get through my syllabus or my class rules, but the typically hour-and-a-half class times were reduced to 40 minutes, so the day flew by. The nicest thing of all, though, was how simple and controlled the environment was, compared to the chaos of the administrative offices. When I worked as a counselor, I literally ran out the door the minute the end of the contract day arrived, but as a teacher I willingly stayed late to work on lesson plans and other duties without an ounce of resentment. I think it’s because I don’t have a job I want to escape anymore. It just felt so normal. I know I will still have stresses and challenging times and frustrations, but at the heart of it is a situation I can control, and long swaths of time where all I can do is teach and everything else has to wait. I’m much more convinced now that this was the right move to make  – although I’m still nervous about what might be coming down the pike later, but that’s just how I am.

So, day one of teaching down, and day fifteen of the 365 project got done – sort of. It’s a pretty horrid little picture, although I do like the primary colors and geometric shapes it created. But it’s another iPhone pic, and was snapped at the end of the day without much planning or thought:

Day 14

That, my friends, is a completely full box of donuts that sat on the floor in the hallway the entire day. I have no idea why. I kept walking past it and thinking, surely there’s a reason for this, a joke someone is playing or something, but nope. Even after the bell rang and the kids left, the box still sat there. Finally I picked it up and threw it in the trash. Weird.

On another note, I haven’t talked about this at all, but another reason I’m so busy right now and not taking many pictures is because an elderly family member is quite ill, and my husband is the primary caretaker for this person. I go with him to help when I can, which means my weekends are pretty much taken up with errands and trips to go visit family. I don’t know how long this will go on, but it may be awhile. That combined with the first weeks of school just hasn’t afforded me any time to do studio shots at all, but perhaps when at least the school side dies down I can get back to it. Then again, maybe not. I’ll continue taking what pictures I can, when I can, and we’ll see how things go.