This is partly in response to the weekly prompt at We Write Poems, but I’d been toying with it for at least a month already. The poem text is below the video, as well as process notes.
When the nurses wheeled you away
on the shuddering gurney, your simple body
steering down the corridor, your toes
pointing back at me like a little constellation
of stars, you gestured a goodbye
I didn’t recognize until later, and it was like
you’d already died, and I’d missed my chance
to honor that soft instant of your disappearance,
like a pilgrim slipping over a dark border.
And I realized I’d spent my life in avoidance
of such moments, never traveled with you
to the airport, or stood on a porchfront waving,
or looked in the rearview mirror while you stood
on a porchfront, waving. And that now
I’m more than halfway through my life,
and perhaps have done the most I can
of sweeping aside the crawling hours
forward towards conclusion, the end
not what I expected – no black bag of bones,
no hissing river spitting on an empty shore –
just a dusty shelf where your photographs
are stored, a dog-eared ottoman where I rest
my feet when I get home alone at the ebb
of another gentle, merciless afternoon.
Notes: My limitations – no decent video camera with which to film my own footage, my lack of decent video editing software, my iPhone Voice Changer app as my only source of recording audio – are starting to effect my level of satisfaction with the final product. Perhaps it’s time to get down to business and commit to learning new things, but for now, please forgive the highly pixielated spots in the video and go with the concept of it.
Finding the footage for this one was a bit of a bear, as it always is at the Internet Archives because their method of categorizing and organizing material doesn’t work with my brain. I found the video of Saunders dancing first, and “Romance Sentimentale” came along a few days later. Once I had those two pieces it was just a matter of splicing them together. Music was another matter, as I changed my mind twice when putting the visuals together, then two more times when I layered the poem audio over that.
Recording the audio was time-consuming, because this is a longer poem than I normally take on; as always I created the video first then fit the poem to the footage, and then recorded my reading in one take while watching the visuals to fit the poem into them. That doesn’t sound too hard until you screw up ten or fifteen times, or read the whole poem before realizing you forgot to hit ‘record.’ I’ve found that splicing together different readings or sections sounds uneven, so I always start completely over when I screw up. EVEN SO – I realized this morning I left out an entire line. It’s in the text, but I tried to splice it into the audio and it sounded out of place, so that line is just gone for now. It works without it anyway, even though I’d prefer it stay in there – I just wasn’t up to recording the whole poem again.
Where to start. Dang.
I love the adjectives and descriptions you use; they have this unique lyrical sound to them that is better in the reading out loud. “Soft instant”; “simple body”; most of all “gentle, merciless afternoon.” And the selection of images and details you choose – that porch, that ottoman – are wise ones that bring the sentiments behind the words to life. But overall, just the feel of it is a beautiful ache that neither cuts itself short nor drags on too long, doesn’t get blown out of proportion or feel like a robot. There is just the right amount of everything, and you included everything that needed to be, and it’s unmistakeably your voice (unless you have an evil poetic twin I don’t know about).
A perfectly-baked cake of a poem.
Thanks! I really need to learn what I’m doing so I give these videos the polish they are due. But the idea is there, at least. I was so pleased to find that video of the woman dancing on the beach, I can’t even tell you. Then the other movie – it was pretty easy after finding those two pieces. 🙂 And yes, it’s my voice. Still learning how to read into a recording device without getting all creaky or whispery!
The audio sounds just right, the reading is well-paced, and the images are a good fit. Not too shabby!
Thank you, Dave! But it really is time to get down to business and learn some new software, and get a decent video recorded. Just trying to decide if I want to splurge for an entirely new DSLR with video capability, or just get the videocam…I’m thinking with the cost of videocameras I might as well just get a whole new DSLR.
That’s a beautiful poem, images stay and haunt me. The video and your reading are so perfect!
Thank you, Uma! I like how this one turned out.
The video reading and images really enhanced my own reading of this beautifully written poem. Well done.
The images, music, and the poem text all matched together well. I get the idea of a someone feeling that she never said goodbye, and years later, there is just still this slow ache with no closure: and all three elements bring this to bear. Well done, and best wishes on your continued videopoem journey.
Thank you Nicole!
What a marathon effort: but well rewarded by the result.
Cynthia, This is heart wrenching and beautiful. You did a wonderful job putting this together.
Like the sentiment you expressed…not being all there. That’s what got me mulling.
Sigh. Sad and powerful. I really liked, ” I’d missed my chance
to honor that soft instant of your disappearance…”
beautiful indeed…thanks for sharing your words
Thank you Wayne!
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if you made yourself the choice to use this poem, Eisenstein footage and Stephane Grappelli music and put all of this together then you’re almost untrue in nowadays emptiness.
That was amazing! I’m blown away. Your recording is beautifully done, too. 😀
Thank you! Usually with poems and videopoems, the end result is different from what I envisioned. I am so pleased this one came out pretty much exactly how I envisioned it. Rare for that to happen!
I’ve been meaning to thank you for making these VideoPress-hosted videos embeddable. I’ve restored four of your posts at Moving Poems now.
Great – thanks Dave!
What can I say? I reached here from you flickr home.
This whole creation has touched me,the video,the music,the reading,the poem.I can identify with the concept of realization of avoidance of such moments and personally I took the time to revisit the most important ones for me through ritual to Salute as it were,its never too late 🙂
A very powerful and enriching piece. I thank you Merci.
Thanks for your kind words, and for stopping by! This is one of my favorites I’ve done; wish the quality were better but I’m limited with my skills and equipment.