Purple outtakes

Taking a break from my regularly scheduled purple sharing to show some funny shots from this last weekend. I didn’t do any editing to these beyond the processing I do when converting them to .TIF files, so the quality isn’t great, but that isn’t the point anyway.

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Timing is everything. The curtain actually got stuck on my lipstick. This was just the second shot of the whole set, BTW. Off to a great start!

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This seriously cracks me up. It’s like a floating, melting, purple Gumby. A leaping sheet with one human arm. And yes, that’s the remote on the floor, which I usually edit out of the shots but I didn’t bother for this one. Bonus points for forgetting to cut out the tag on the curtains!

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Just a little shout-out to everyone who still thinks I am graceful.

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Walk Like an Egyptian. With curtains. Egyptian curtains. Yep.

Outtake Awkwardness

I set up for a weekend shoot Thursday afternoon, and while I was at it I threw on a crinoline and attempted some sofa-jumping pics (I worked in the interior design industry in the 90’s, and to this day I cannot use the word couch when referring to that particular piece of furniture; it was considered in poor taste to do so, which is one of those completely random, useless factoids from a past career that has never vacated my brain). Anyway, most of the shots were crap, but I did snag this one, which I enjoy:


I have very veiny feet, and until my mid-20’s I had hair on my toes. My nickname in high school was “hobbit feet” because of this. True story. 

I took this one shot where I hit the sofa hard and the face I made was so awful, I deleted it directly from the camera. The second I hit the delete button I realized it would have been perfect to upload in an outtakes post on my blog, and actually shouted “Nooooo!” but it was too late. So, the best outtake I cannot upload. But I did find a few lovelies to share.


This one illustrates the importance of being sure one’s Hobbit Feet are pointed


Nice framing


Believe it or not, I’m making an even worse face in the shot I deleted. But at least my Hobbit Feet are pointed.

I always watch a Rifftrax or old Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode while shooting. Weird, I know; but I can’t sit still to watch anything, so I use my shooting time as movie time. Sometimes between that and the industrial-strength fan I have blowing, I have a hard time hearing the timer count down This was one of those times I couldn’t hear it, and realized it was about to go off too late. I tried to scramble into some sort of pose, but I didn’t have time to come up with anything, so I punted:


When in doubt, make this face

I’m going to try out some new costume stuff this weekend, which will require a trip to Party City tomorrow. Time to buy more cheap crap! Maybe I can get my hands on some Hobbit Feet slippers or something. But it would probably be better to get my feet on them (or in them).

Outtake Awkwardness – Curly Wig Edition

In working my way through the tons of photos I want to process from this shoot, I kept the idea of looking for good photo fails in the back of mind so I could share them here. I mentioned in the last outtake post that when searching through old sets for awkward shots I was disappointed by how boring most of my bloopers were, but this time I got a few doozies. So…yay me for doing a bang-up job looking ridiculous, I guess.

I’m also experimenting with uploading smaller photos than I have previously. I never re-size my shots before uploading, which is a bad idea I know, but I am lazy. At least for the blog I need to get better about that. And I’m also thinking it would be smart to watermark them, but I have to get past the fact that I hate watermarks. I’m perpetually conflicted between the part of me that wants to be smart about the internet and the part of me that wants to Keep Calm and Upload On.   Anyway, on to the outtakes!


I hear the perverted soccer mom look is really in this year

My first thought on seeing this next shot was that I looked like I had a penis. Then, while I was editing it (because yes, I even edit my bloopers) I realized I look like Michael Jackson. And those two things together in one self-portrait are really disturbing.


#1 – Betchya didn’t know I had such a nice package; #2 – Um, I’m Bad? Maybe?

This next one is presented without comment. Although it does have a caption. Is that a comment? Probably so. Anyway:


Not exactly how I envisioned this jump working out

Outtake Awkwardness

As I’ve mentioned before, it cracks me up a little when people make comments about how graceful or fit I must be to create some of the photos I do. I can assure you that is not the case. I can also assure you that for every near-perfect capture of my body in motion, there are at least two that capture my body in a state of calamity. I’ve thought for awhile that I’d like to share some of those photos; I just never had time to process any until today.

I actually was a little disappointed looking through my sets for awkward poses, as there weren’t nearly as many truly amusing ones as I thought there would be. Not that there weren’t a lot of bad shots (I usually take around 300 per shoot), but most of them were too typical to  be useful to me – stuff like blinking when the shutter clicks, for example. I wanted to find some flops that were particularly interesting, and those were hard to come by. Most of them were just boring, but I did manage to scare up a few before I had to go do laundry or whatever it was that took me away from the project. I’m going to keep looking and share more later if possible.

This first one did actually make me laugh out loud, though:

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I don’t even know what I was trying to do here.

This next one happens a lot – a great shot ruined by an awful face. Always gotta watch out for those facial expressions:


Nice grimace.

This is just one example of a poorly timed shot, where the shutter caught me landing rather than leaping. I have so many of these it was hard to pick one; I thought this shot looked particularly uncoordinated so I went with it.


Pretty ungraceful.

This next one comes courtesy of the synthetic wig hair that blew into my eye right before the shot.

If you’ve never had wig hair in your eye, you really should experience it. Just don’t take a picture when it happens.

This is an example of the problems inherent in trying to actually do what you want the photo to show you doing. When I take a picture that appears to show me spinning, I am not spinning in actuality. What I do is set my  pose to how I want it to appear in the shot, then just reach down and spin my skirt and toss my hair as the shutter goes off. If I try to actually spin, the end result is something like this:


It looks as if I am storming off my own set.

And here’s how a shoot progresses if you don’t remember to comb your wig every few shots:


Be kind to your wigs, kids.